Many people are intrigued about how I seem to know or claim to know so much about health related issues, when I am not a doctor. I think perhaps a little about myself will help people understand where I am coming from.
I was diagnosed with autism before the age of 3, from the start my life has been troubled by immune system problems. I don’t think I have it bad by the way, I am male for starters, and none of my problems are critical in any manner, they just have seriously hampered my quality of life.
From the start till now, I had all the signs of a person with immune system problems such as random pain, disrupted sleep cycle, fatigue, allergies to certain foods and chemicals.
I had really bad intrinsic eczema, my skin was either constantly falling off, cracking, flaking, bleeding, red or itching. Everyone in my school bullied me for my skin problems (which made me look ugly as they were mostly on my face and on my neck) and weirdness, because on top of my physiological problems, psychologically I was impaired as well. I had social anxiety, ADHD, terrible working memory, low emotional control. Being autistic also meant I was naturally terrible at sports too which made me a laughing stock. It is pretty funny actually.
At the worst point, I was going to the clinic to get steroid shots for my eczema every two weeks. My medical costs cost my parents a fortune. I was prescribed Ritalin daily and we had no idea that it was making me apathetic and depressed.
For 16 years of my life my treatment involved steroids, steroids, steroids everyday, in retrospect what the doctors were doing probably actually made me worst, than if I had just fixed my diet.
Fast forward to 19, to spare you the details of my youth. Fortunately there is one good thing about being autistic, my ability to absorb and understand complicated information. Since numerous doctors were unable to help me. I finally gave in to experimenting on myself by piecing together the missing puzzles myself. In the beginning this just meant making guesses, and then buying off the shelf branded creams that should alleviate the symptom technically.
I was absolutely surprised the first time I solved a problem without a doctor, and was completely stunned and disappointed in how the medical system has failed me, making crucial parts of my life utterly miserable.
So slowly piece by piece I began to treat my eczema,and I have continued to make enhancements to my regiment. To this day it is still an issue for me, but now its mostly pushed back by the plethora of solutions I have invented to manage it. Most people these days find it hard to believe me when I tell them I have serious health problems. Nobody believes me that deep fried tempura would wreck havoc on my body for a week. I am happy to say that you now won’t see much eczema on me, apart from the occasional rash.
Anyhow there was also the psychological part of my problems, they were definitely not due to the lack of confidence or some other trivial problem. As time went on it began to become obvious to me that I can’t focus like others can, I can’t remember things like others can, I couldn’t socialise, connect, flirt or make jokes at the same speed. To some extent you could say I felt I was not only insanely sensitive, but also very slow compared to most people. I guess most people don’t see how this is possible if they have never experienced it. Other people were simply like super humans to me, they could eat whatever they want, work all day, play all night.
I really wanted to overcome my difficulty with people, anybody even the cashier. It wasn’t simple like fear, I had difficulty maintaining even slight eye contact with people, my natural response is always to look on the floor, or look away. Simply talking to people would trigger the fight or flight response on me. Fortunately I did have many friends who were on my side of the spectrum.
So bear in mind here: When people question whether I could have done without chemicals. I spent a total of 4 years exercising, paying social artists, have a good diet and everything else thats none chemical. In the end I probably got worst than I started, because now I just have all the negative experiences of how difficult it is for me to be normal. I couldn’t get positive references, because I would just keep getting negative results due to my autism.
I will never forget the moment it happened. You know I am typing this all in hindsight, but at the time I had no idea I was autistic, my parents had hid the doctors diagnosis on me. I just kept thinking that there was something I wasn’t doing right.
Then it happened one day randomly. It was one of my first time doing any drug, and basically I was high. I remember the flip so well. For the first time in my life I can look at the bartender and respond to his facial expression, and felt a connection with him. It was like this intensive barrier was removed. Thats when it hit me, it hit me hard .
The problems was not due to me doing anything wrong. I simply have strange brain chemistry thats causing some innate social mechanism to not work properly.
Over the years if there was one thing I am good at, its to look at a lot of scientific research and anecdotal reports and come to some evidence based conclusion about a chemical, or sometimes a bunch of different things working in conjunction.
I believe in science and evidence in research, so any quackery is out of the question for me. I have never taken any experimental designer drug with no prior research.
My view is if something like lidocaine for eczema, or memantine for tolerance has escaped the imagination of doctors, then what else could they be missing? Turns out quite a lot.
From that point on I added cognitive research to my immune system research, it took a couple of years of trial and error but eventually I did remove a lot of the social anxiety, to the point I am probably just like another person now, even though I don’t feel like I am (autistic people would understand).
I became a strong advocate not only for chemical augmentation of mind, but to go beyond into the region of enhancement. I am interested in making us better, as well as fixing inherent problems.
The chemicals gave me a 180 degree turn in my life. For the first time I could date, go out and party like normal, get and hold down a decent job without being a flighty anxious sensitive mess. Ironically people have such a bad impression on drugs from their high horses. When it was drugs that finally gave me control over my own life. If I could go back in time, I would have just told myself “find help”, I spent many years in the wilderness of being fatigued, unable to focus, and in pain.
So over like 10 years I have experimented, if you are reading about some psychotropic, pain, or immune system chemical, the chances that chemical has probably been in my body at some point and I experienced its effects and what it’s like. Obviously 10 years is ample time to learn the dangers of drug tolerance, which is something I am learning to counter with great success.
Of course I am still learning new things everyday, and new things are coming out everyday. Incase you think this is a sales pitch, its not.
There are lots of free things you can do to improve your health and psyche, chemical fixes won’t fix a poor environment or situation.
The challenge is figuring out what is it specifically that would work for you. Usually its a combination of things. It may be Oxytocin, an SSRI or Memantine. Everybody is different.
So on a finishing note I have seen first hand at how doctors seemingly neglect under the radar symptoms or problems, especially if its seemingly psychological like pain or anxiety or fatigue. I understand how much of a pain in the ass it is to get a doctor to understand that there are research based treatments out there that he or she doesn’t know about.
Nobody knows everything, I certainly don’t know half of what a doctor knows, but doctors are not gods and they should think of themselves and act as such.
The medical system requires serious rework from its medieval like hierarchy, but time isn’t going to wait for us. So my view is research, research, and research!
No matter how bad your problem seems, there is a high possibility some scientist has already done some research that you can apply right now.
– Thoughts from Khemcorp